Sunday, 18 March 2018

A New Chapter: Wild Flowers.


A little explanation...

If you don't follow me on social media, you may not know that I've had a pretty difficult six months or so. This in turn, meant my blog took a backseat while my mind was preoccupied elsewhere. So where do I start? 

On 27th September 2017, I found out I was pregnant with my second baby. A very much planned and longed for addition to our family, a sibling for Violet. We were incredibly excited about our new addition but also apprehensive after finding out at just four weeks. Our excitement was short-lived as I began bleeding on the 1st October. A few trips to Early Pregnancy Unit, to find two weeks later, our little peanut was happily growing, and the bleeding brushed off as being a clot they'd seen on the scan.

Unfortunately, the bleeding never subsided. I bled every day for 21 weeks. That takes its toll on you. We were in and out of EPU and then when I reached the 16 week milestone, trips to triage became the norm. Every visit we were told our little boy was growing well, there were no concerns, and the bleeding was 'just one of those things'. By this point I was really taking it easy, not picking Violet up unnecessarily and making sure I was resting as much as possible.

At the beginning of January, I hit the 18 week mark. I woke up to find fresh, red blood, so immediately called triage, who asked me to come in. Trust me, I have never been more thankful to have friends that could help me out with Violet, sitting in triage with a one year old is not fun. This time, I was kept in overnight to monitor the situation. Bump was doing great, heart beating away but I was still having this unexplained bleeding. During the night I experienced a much larger bleed, which again subsided and I somehow managed to get some rest. The following day before I was discharged, I was scanned and diagnosed with partial placenta previa - this must be the cause for all this trouble?

Two weeks later on the 29th January at 21+3 days preganant, I bled again, this time at home. A very significant bleed. Which eventually would lead to my little boy, Jonah George Atkinson, being born sleeping peacefully, at 21+4 weeks gestation. I want to dedicate a whole post to Jonah's birth story, because he absolutely deserves his own, just as Violet had hers. My diagnosis after Jonah's birth was complete placenta previa and placenta percreta - both of which I knew nothing of.

Without writing all the details right now, this is pretty much a whistle stop tour of my life the past six months. This blog is now going to be an outlet for me to share my story, raise awareness of late miscarriage, stillbirth, baby loss and placental issues. I want this to be a safe place for others to share their stories too, if they wish. This will be somewhere to laugh and cry and just talk. Baby loss needs to be spoken about, we need to break this silence and talk about our beautiful babies, who never got their own voice.

We scatter wild flower seeds for Jonah with Violet, hence the name behind the rebrand of my blog. There is something about going through grief that really connects you with nature and for one reason or another I feel closer to my boy when I'm outside.

So this is for you Jonah bear, I love you to the moon and back, always always always.

Katie xx
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3 comments

  1. I am so sorry you've had to go through this, Katie, I can't imagine the pain of losing little Jonah. I hope sharing his story helps you find peace. Sending you love ♥

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  2. I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Katie. x

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